I'm sure most of you have seen this picture. It's been around for a while. I remember seeing it about 6 or 7 years ago.

Did you know that the same phenomenom happens in mice?

Well, I do.

Do you know how I know?



BECAUSE MY BOSS'S HUSBAND JUST CAME IN MY OFFICE HOLDING A DEAD MOUSE WITH AN ERECTION!!!!!!!!!


Apparently, we have a bit of an infestation in our office, so they've been laying mouse traps all week. Yesterday, they caught two. I was lucky enough not to have seen them, because, well, it's really fucking gross to see dead animals that aren't on a plate in front of me with a side of gravy and/or roasted potatoes.

Anyway, Wade, my boss's husband, is the resident plumber/carpenter/exterminator for our office. So, when the traps were full, he was called in to get rid of the 2 dead mice. So, they set the traps again, and this time they caught another one. I thought nothing of it, just glad to be upstairs, away from the mouse massacre.

Then I heard someone come up the stairs. A man. Working in a women's center, it's easy to distinguish the graceful bounce of a women's step with the laborious clunking steps of a man's.

....And with a thick, hick, Nova Scotian accent I hear "Hey, Jenn, I have something to show you!"

*clunk* *clunk* *clunk*

My stomach turns. I cry out "IF IT'S A DEAD MOUSE, I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT!" The apple I had for breakfast is crawling up my esophagus, looking to come out.

Before I know it, I see him in the door frame of my office. I clench my eyes shut. Thinking he had some sense of decency, that maybe he put the mouse away, I open my eyes, only to get an eyeful of LITTLE GREY MOUSE-COCK.

(Okay, at this point, I have to interject that when you type "mouse penis" into Google Image Search, Janet Reno is the 2nd picture to come up. Don't believe me? )

Have you ever seen a mouse erection? It looks like... Well, it's pretty hard to describe. It's pink, and only about as big as a fingernail clipping from your 2nd toe. And there it was. Right there in front of me. The mouse had his head thrown back, his neck broken, no doubt. His tail was sort of curled underneath him.

I could have sworn I saw a smile on that mouse's face.

And the only thing I could say was, "At least he died happy."